without fullstop

One year

12 months

52 weeks

365 days

8750 hours

525600 minutes

31536000 seconds

It has come to a long stretch of living to end the eve and celebrate the anew. This year was better than last year. And next year will be better than this year. That should be it. Albeit knowing best that each happiness is accompanied by sadness, each success is followed by mistakes, each promise is suited by disappointment, each relationship is certified by separation, and so fort. Even the fullest stomach will be hungry by tomorrow, and the brightest day will be darkened by the night fall.

Yet why must I see things at point of positive to negative and vice versa. I refused to be ill-thinking. As I know without hunger no tasty food could be partake and without the black overhead no beautiful start of a morning could be exprienced.

Take a leap out of Without Fullstop into 2006 - Chasing Charlie. Another adventure of mine.

Few days back, my friend Julie emailed me the above photograph, taken by The Pulitzer winner Kevin Carter in 1994 during the Sudan famine. It depicts a famine stricken child crawling towards an United Nations food camp, located kilometers in distance. A vulture awaits for the child to die so it can savor it. However powerful the shot is, it certainly didn’t allow Carter to live through his achievement, as depression and a shocking experience pushed him to take his own life.

Shocked as anyone would be, seeing of what is left of a child, skin and bones. It reminds how fortunate we are, to have food, to be full.

Followings are some random shots I took ever since I bought myself a digital camera. Kodak wasn’t my first choice, nonetheless it proves itself to be as compatible as the other brands, and only priced at the minimal.

Party = Boost = Unconscious Behavior

Hopefully that won’t be happening over the weekend of celebration of the coming year.

A lil’ humorous tip from Genre Magazine - HEAD MASSAGE “Rubbing you scalp will bring blood to your brain, soothing your headache. Rubbing you other head will just make you feel a lot better, period.”

On Christmas day I was hulled to Time Square for karaoke and movie with friends. First time at Neway Karaoke. It was a nicely designed hangout, with their specialty being cheaper than Red Box definately worth going again. Also it was also famously known for its array of buffet. Surprisingly my friend said that some people come her for the buffet while the karaoke is merely a compliment.

I took this picture as a recollection of how good the food is that forking from the next plate is higly practised.

Then we caught a movie “Perhaps Love” starring takeshi kaneshiro, zhuo xun, jacky cheung, and ji jin hee. It is directed by the same person responsibled for the award-winning “Chicago”. With the scenic experience, catchy tunes and extraordinary closeup create a breath of hallucinaton. A remedy of what many would believed to be a worth of a dime. The script was intelligently-constructed, performance was beautifully-played, and me as audience was ethusiastically-engrossed.

A classical piece:

After that mesmerizing film, we took off to have supper at Farmland Restaurant, a place for porridge steamboat. It was a great choice after the heavy rain and cold night.

I was dead tired by the time my head hit the pillow. As predicted, I wasn’t permitted to sleep yet. Having to sleep over at a friend’s place often is not a good choice for a good night rest. It was the confession, gossip, and nothing-else-matter. We talked and talked until five in the morning. And I could bear any longer. I switched off the light and tried to sleep. With the constant shake from my friend, I was forced to concentrate in the dark. Voices came in and out. Some words lost along the night silence. If only sleep could eveloped me completely that I would drifted off to unconsciousness, senseless even to the touch of disturbance, I would be resting perfectly.

Do I see myself having such defined body? Not in a million years! I do have to admit that I am not into gym, hence anything that requires gyming wouldn’t be my cup of coffee (however that doesn’t mean I dislike anyone who is into gym, and highly insatiable if that anyone is an intimate partner). With that said, reminded me of a dissecting affair where physically I was in a gym. Yes, I was in one, for longer than 15 minutes. However I was very much fortunate to be left alone at one corner elaborating my thoughts, rather than pestered by sales staff.

And being only an occasional jogger and currently a blue-moon swimmer, I would be jumping out of my skin if I could even get close to owning a less defined yet much desirable body as below (at least to my liking). And of cos if I have that body, the nipple piercing would only be a compliment.

Awaken this morning with an urge to have my blood suck out. Being miles and miles away from Transylvania, to find a Dracula would be like needle in hay stack. Therefore it could only meant one thing, next stop - National Blood Bank.

I was being questioned on the obvious during the routine interview (blood one or blood two). However this time it was by a trainee from Ministry of Health accompanied by an experienced physician. After somewhat like 20 seconds of pause while waiting for the trainee to explain the last bit regarding prohibition of certain groups donating blood, I eased her by confirming that I understood each clause of the necessary. While I may seemed like lying true my teeth, the statement itself is a flaw.

Before I could donate my precious blood, I had to go thruogh several minor testing, like uric acid, lipid, and etc (yes, I did fast at least 8 hours). Then I had a light breakfast.

I was then plugged into an unfamiliar machine (picture below).

Yes, I was explained beforehand of another donating method, and was given the choice of a normal whole blood (wb) donation or a plasma/platelets (p+p) donation. Differences:

wb - less time consuming (15-20 minutes), taking everything of what you have

p+p - very time consuming (an hour), taking only two components and the rest is returned back to you

Reason for p+p (a process also commonly known as pheresis) donation only - widely used for medical assistance in dengue haemorrhagic fever, thalassemea, and etc.

It was amusing as on the screen itself showed what I had to do, whether it be sqeezing the Christmas tree in my hand when the screen screams “draw”,

or to release my grip and let the red and white blood cells “return” into my body.

As the minutes gone by, even without observing the screen, I was able to know when to squeeze and when to release, simply by the sound of the machine working by my side. Slow pace tickings mean GO while heartily tickings mean RELAX…lah.

 Then the yellowish liquid could be visible in two separate bags.

The screen showing that my plasma donation is coming to a halt.

And underneath the screen would be the ticking machine (filter).

Close inspection could exposed that the blood is drawn into a small bottle at the middle of the machine. Once it is filled to the top, the blood is released back into the body. And it goes on and on until the 55 minutes on the screen is up.

Plasma level seems to be filled much faster compared to platelets. I was in no hurry, and I was feeling somewhat light-headed, very much like on drugs. Immediately I was being instructed to lay back and doctor was called. How embarassing that was!

That was all for me. Another meaningful morning. I was satisfied that I had my blood drawn, leaving me with that tinkling feeling for the rest of the day.

Read an article on legislative tackled the issue of MSM donating blood. Reminded me of something I wrote awhile back. It is discriminating and misleading when it comes to filling in the form for blood donation, especially the part only refered to male donors. Gays are not necessary promiscuous, and also not necessary go bareback.

Photos taken few months back while in Singapore.

“Today is the big day for us”, my friend told me when we had lunch. December 1st has been a day to commemorate and be wary of the pandemic of HIV/AIDS.

Commentary in press just yesterday by Marina somehow reflected the song “What’s Going On” by numerous artists expressing for the cause of human and natural disasters. And today with a world news update about long-term constructive strategies showing significant influence in the fight against HIV/AIDS. Contradictory to that, the effort put in for the last 20 odd years has not managed to educate a senseless and irresponsible individual.

(Max Greenberg, a positive living. Source: TheBody)

And if I may, I quote the title of an article written by Ben Savage published in PUFFTA.

It doesn’t take much for a gay boy or man to think “this weekend I’m going to get totally out of it and get fucked”. Hopefully it would be safe sex, hopefully with somebody they trust, and hopefully they knew their limits when it comes to alcohol consumption and drug abuse.

We may be tired of hearing about HIV and AIDS, but a new culture is emerging and drawing the younger generation into dangerous sex. You only need to look on gaydar to see “BB Group Now”. BB stands for Bareback (anal sex without a condom) and usually includes FF, Chems or a whole host of abbreviations. (FF = Fist Fuck, Chems = Drug Use). The problem is, for most guys, mixing chems with sex = BB = the possibility of either transmitting STD’s including HIV or re-infecting yourself if you already carry the disease making it difficult to control the virus.

Drugs lower you inhibitions and what seems horny and a big turn on at the time could turn into a nightmare for your health. The realities of infected with HIV are muscle wastage, being prone to more illnesses as your defence system deteriorate, the hassle of taking hundreds of pills a week or month. You need to protect yourself.

A condom does this, or not putting yourself in that situation if you know you are easily swayed. Take for instance a bank holiday weekend. The internet is rife with men looking for sex. A 41 year old looking for “COCK 4 2WAY BB..NOW SE1!!” another 41 year old looking for “ISO BB Versatile 4 Same :-))” a 37 year old looking for “chemsex tonite” or the 47 year old after “out now/up 4 ffbb later se5″… It all adds up to one thing, infection, the spread of disease.

I suggest you don’t take drugs while having sex. Who wants a floppy dick on cocaine, or gurning and rubbing gums after taking too many pills? I want my partner to be attractive and sexy, not drug fucked, incoherent and not able to get it up! I don’t want to loose my inhibitions which involves Russian roulette with my life.